Sunday, August 5, 2012

Lost & Confused

When someone comes to a cross roads on there life, it is a proven theory that humans and animal are more willing to take the path of least resistance. Is that why so many people in this world like to take the easy way out? I can not rag on anyone because I too am one of those people.

5 months ago I got to met a wonderful man James who quickly befriended me when it seemed I need one most. I had just had a house fire and was going through a lot of things with the guy I was dating at the time. We also were going through a rough patch in our relationship, and James was always willing to listen to give feed back. After a 3 day trip to for the military to do our range qualification, I decided that it was time to break it off with the current guy I was dating Mark. We hadn't spoken all weekend, James and I on the other hand spoke everyday. In a way I intentionally did not get a hold of Mark because I was in a sense I was falling for a man that I hardly even knew. And that is when the easy way out became the best. I wanted to fix the issues with Mark, and I still do but instead of doing all that I simply just ended a great and wonderful thing. Because it was easier for me to run away from a problem then fix one. Everything between James and I started out wonderful and great. Then one day things changed for the worse. He started becoming really jealous of me wanting to hang out with my army buddies, mainly because they were all men, and did not want to be to even talk with them. That when I creates a lie to just be able to go out and have a wonderful time. Needless to say that made things 10 times worse. We now fight and argue all the time and are becoming quit clear of our differences. I do not wish to take the easy way out on this one, but it would save a lot of pain and heartbreak if it were just to go that easy way. My parents want me to move home and trust me I really do wish to go back home and start over fresh and new in a new place where no one knows me. But would it be for the best to take the easy way out once more, or tough it out and change the laws of science?

When your mind tells you one thing, your heart tells you another, and your gut instinct doesn't know what to tell you, how can you make a decision and hope its the right one? Everyone around you is telling you its time to go, but yet it does not feel like the right thing to do, do you cut your losses and get that fresh start, or climb the hill that was dug for yourself and better you life to prove a point?

In the end it is your decision and yours alone, whether it be right or wrong you life with the consequences of that decision and move on with your life. Even tho I haven't made my decision yet, the time will come when it has to be done.

No comments:

Post a Comment