Thursday, August 30, 2012


So I thought that I needed to share this with the rest of the well lets say the 90's kids and older blogging community. Someone posted a screen shot of a Jimmy Hendrix video on Facebook today with a highlighted comment from an obviously younger person. He stated that skrillex, lmao, and the jonas brothers play better music then Hendrix because of our current technology. I go enjoy LMAO but thats because there songs are catchy and there music videos are a whole different subject. But any way. He stated that Hendrix and the older bands are boring because you hear the same "guitar" or notes heard over and over again, That technology made music better and better because we dont hear the repetitiveness of the same note or the same cords over and over again. I honestly don't care about what beat there is to a song, for me its all in the lyrics and how the song touches you or even relates to a part of your life. This kid picked the worst guy to compare because Jimmy Hendrix is a legend and I don't care how far along technology get I will always love his music and how it is moving and touching and actually makes sense.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012


Money is the devil's play toy plain and simple. It just ruined a 6 month relationship. Heck it ruins marriages and a bunch of other things too. Money controls thing world and its loosing actual face value everyday because of the high demand for money. When it comes down too it, yes your bills should be paid in full and on time, but in some situations that is not likely to happen. Take for instant my situation, I have an awesome job opportunity just waiting there for the taking, but my so call boyfriend says that my phone(which is required for my job in the civilian world and military world) is less important then a job where I could have rent and the internet bill paid months in advance and all we would have to worry about is buying the things we need and being able to splurge every once in a while. But he decided that I need to leave and take my self else where... something here just doens't make sense. Like my mom always say's "We should go back to the bartering day when there wasn't money or currency, It would make people cherish what they have and work hard for what they need".

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Thoughts and Prayers

Liberty Pearl Hoksbergen
Liberty on her way to
St. Mary's
Thoughts and Prayers go out to Katy Wise, Alex Hoksbergen and their beautiful daughter Liberty. Liberty was brought into this world on August 21st, 2012, 15 weeks early and only weighs 1lb 6.9oz. They both were airlifted to St. Mary's hospital in Rochester, MN early this morning not to long after Liberty's birth. So far they are both stable and doing well. Katy and Alex are both in the armed forces so I know that they have the strength and courage but a little extra from people wouldn't be such a bad thing. So everyone please keep this wonderful family in your prayers.

Update's will be posted when I find out more.

Update 8/23/2012
Liberty's diapers. They have
be folded in half to fit her tiny
little baby bottom.
Liberty 2 days old
 Liberty is getting stronger everyday. They have her under the UV light. Here she is holding Katy's engagement ring. Even with all the hoses and tubes she is one precious little girl. The 1133rd family is glad to have her with us. You can also keep updated yourself by making a caringbridge account and follow Liberty's progress here:

Alex and Katy getting to touch
there daughter for the first time
Katy's first time seeing Liberty since
she was born.
Katy was able to see her daughter for the first time today. What an amazing feeling it must be for Katy to be able to get up and see her daughter.

Update 8/24/2012
Liberty looses her breathing tube today at noon!!! hooray!She will still need to be given oxygen through her nose, but all in all she is a strong little girl! and a huge fighter. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers and she grows healthier and stronger.

Update 8/27/2012
No new pictures as of yet. on the 23rd the nurses at the Hospital said that Liberty is very stable and doing fabulous for her age and size. Also they started to put some of Katy's milk on the insides of her cheeks and is taking well to that. On the 24th she went for a brain ultrasound to check for brain bleeds and found nothing so that is a really good sign.  Also on the 24th after the brain scan came back normal they noticed some bleeding near Liberty's lungs but caught it in time for them to administer medication to stop the bleeding. Today they up the main medication that they have Liberty on and reduced her oxygen from the tube that they had to re-administer down to 39%. also she is getting less restless and is starting to sleep on her belly. On Sunday Katy and Alex where able to move to the Ronald McDonald house near the hospital instead of having to stay in a hotel all the way across town. If you wish to send greeting or prayers to them here is the information. Katy Wise and/or Alex Hoksbergen - Room 314, 850 2nd St. SW, Rochester, MN  55902-2938.

Update 8/28/2012
Katy and Alex got to hold there daughter today! To bad that since they have to do the skin on skin thing since Liberty is a premature. Liberty had to have another brain ultrasound today that showed there is some minor bleeding on the brain, but the doctors assured Katy and Alex it is normal and will give little miss Liberty another scan in two weeks so see if the bleeding has stopped. She also still has some bleeding by her lungs but is making great progress otherwise besides these too set backs. please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Update 8/30/2012
Liberty got taken off the Ventilator yesterday and they are hoping she will be able to stay off of it now, she is now on a CPAP machine. She grows stronger with each passing day. She also make a huge mile stone in the Preme world by making to a week old on Tuesday the 28th. I forgot to mention it earlier.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Frustrations II

Two of the things I though never would have happen, happened this over the weekend. On Saturday something happened to my ankle to that made my injury flare up, so I am back in my walking boot. Then on Sunday when I showed up to Drill with the walking boot on some people asked if I was okay while others stared, whispered comments, and snickered at me. These people are suppose to protect me in theater? These people are suppose to have my back? How can I trust these people when they can't even be concerned for me? Its not like I asked for this to happen and its not like I wanted this to happen. So quit acting like it is. Grow the F**k up and get a life. I am tried of feeling like an out cast with this unit, and you people making me want to give up and say F**k it.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012


Things are starting to look up for me. I got a call on a job today, I will be working for Flagger Pros USA getting to travel around Iowa. All that I have to do is pass the drug screen and sit through a class for the DOT. Totally made my day, along with me parents helping me out along the way!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012


I have set to goals for my self by the time the clock strikes 12:01 on January 1st, 2013. Yes I am not s skeptic about December 12th, 2012. The world will not end, and we will keep on living. But back to my goals.

1. I want to be 100% smoke free, I hate the habit of smoking cigarettes and no to mention the dent it puts in the pocket book.
2. I want to be able to run a marathon. This is an item on my bucket list, and I would love to be able to run a marathon or two before I die.

These are two very big goals for me because I have been smoking as long as I can remember, quit once and that was because I had no other choice too. And the last time I ran close to a marathon distance was at the end of Basic Training when we did a company run that totaled almost 4 miles.\

Challenge Accepted!


There is that breaking point in life when all you want to is scream and pull out your hair. Well I think that I have reached that breaking point. This economy sucks so that there is hardly any jobs. Which leaves a lot of broke and hard for cash. And the hardest thing about that is when you really need the money there is none. And everyone you know is also broke so that they are unable to help out, but wish that they could. Money is one of the biggest stress things that anyone could have in life, hell it is one of the biggest reasons for relationships falling and divorces.

The military is another big stress on me because in 2011 I was diagnosed with Asthma. I have been running just about every other day. But yet I am unable to pass the two mile requirements for the military. I get super stressed the week before drill time rolls around. I don't want to get kicked out but I am out of options to what I can do. All I can do is push myself to the hardest, I also going to attempt not smoking a day and half before the test( I know I shouldnt smoke with Asthma, nothing new there). I also want to go to my doctor and see if I can get a different Asthma medication because the Advair doesn't seem to work that great.

The last thing is that with the money crippling situation and hardly no jobs cause of the economy. My car is slowly taking a shit and there is nothing that I can do about. The only people that can fix it either require money or live like 4 to 8 hours away and I obviously have no way of getting my car there and they cant come here due to then they would have no shop to work in. Drive it till it dies!

Though many things that make people hit that certain breaking point, there are many things one can do to keeping from ripping out there hair and going insane. I usually take like a million baths a day when I'm stressed out or go indulge in my hobbies to keep my mind busy.   But when reality come crashing back in, watch out world! They don't call me the Fire Breathing Dragon for nothing! haha

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Almost Perfect

This weekend was an awesome weekend because I was able to see Bailey twice in the same weekend! I am now happier and feel some stress gone. I also got to sorta reconnect with someone that I love dearly. Yet even tho I had to sneak around to do it, it was still worth it. Even tho the one that I love so much and I are not together is not important right now as long as I able to see my dog who is my rock and everything to me. He is like my son. It was almost perfect, it would have been more perfect if I would have been able to stay the whole weekend and sleep with my Bailey. But I will learn to take it a step at a time.

Friday, August 10, 2012


Bailey and Oreo when we first brought Bailey Home

Bailey almost a year old
Bailey was a puppy that my EX and I got for his dog Oreo as an companion and friend since the dog that she grew up around had passed away. I trained him and watched him grow. I miss him so much lately it isn't even funny. I almost cry at the thought of him and me not being apart of his life anymore. I wish that he was able to live with me but that isn't able to happen because my EX's dog Oreo would go insane without him around. He is the best dog I have ever know, well besides my moms dogs of course. Life just isn't complete with out my Bailey Boo.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012


Tonight I had to make a hard decision and that was to either to take the easy way out and run away from commitment and move back home or stay and make it work between the two of us. I made the choice to no longer run away from commitment. I have officially pissed off my family and the commitment doesn't work I will not have a place to live. But this is to prove to my family and the world that because people all have the flaws and relationships can work around flaws and learn to grow to together. I hope this all works out. But I feel like I did the right thing, and as an adult I am able to make my own decisions and choose the life that I choose for myself.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Little do you know

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Today I found that possibly my boyfriend will be in jail by tomorrow in the late afternoon. And he seems to think that it is okay to neglect paying fines, little does he know that there are a lot of consequence's he will have to face if that happens. He forgets that his sons mom will have to explain to his son why his dad hasn't called, or why he cant come over to his dads. He also forgets that I could be stuck paying the rent and finding a way to afford it, dog food, cat food, and cat litter, the internet bill, and everything like that. There are so many bad things that will come of this that he know but does not want to face. I made the decision to move home, but if he goes to jail I do not have the power in me to just let to animals be neglected because there is no one to take the or watch them till he gets out, because there is no set sentence. I know that I will also be unable to take them with me once I move. I hope that we get news that he does not go to jail, but on the other hand I hope he does so that he can live with the consequences of his actions.

Lost & Confused

When someone comes to a cross roads on there life, it is a proven theory that humans and animal are more willing to take the path of least resistance. Is that why so many people in this world like to take the easy way out? I can not rag on anyone because I too am one of those people.

5 months ago I got to met a wonderful man James who quickly befriended me when it seemed I need one most. I had just had a house fire and was going through a lot of things with the guy I was dating at the time. We also were going through a rough patch in our relationship, and James was always willing to listen to give feed back. After a 3 day trip to for the military to do our range qualification, I decided that it was time to break it off with the current guy I was dating Mark. We hadn't spoken all weekend, James and I on the other hand spoke everyday. In a way I intentionally did not get a hold of Mark because I was in a sense I was falling for a man that I hardly even knew. And that is when the easy way out became the best. I wanted to fix the issues with Mark, and I still do but instead of doing all that I simply just ended a great and wonderful thing. Because it was easier for me to run away from a problem then fix one. Everything between James and I started out wonderful and great. Then one day things changed for the worse. He started becoming really jealous of me wanting to hang out with my army buddies, mainly because they were all men, and did not want to be to even talk with them. That when I creates a lie to just be able to go out and have a wonderful time. Needless to say that made things 10 times worse. We now fight and argue all the time and are becoming quit clear of our differences. I do not wish to take the easy way out on this one, but it would save a lot of pain and heartbreak if it were just to go that easy way. My parents want me to move home and trust me I really do wish to go back home and start over fresh and new in a new place where no one knows me. But would it be for the best to take the easy way out once more, or tough it out and change the laws of science?

When your mind tells you one thing, your heart tells you another, and your gut instinct doesn't know what to tell you, how can you make a decision and hope its the right one? Everyone around you is telling you its time to go, but yet it does not feel like the right thing to do, do you cut your losses and get that fresh start, or climb the hill that was dug for yourself and better you life to prove a point?

In the end it is your decision and yours alone, whether it be right or wrong you life with the consequences of that decision and move on with your life. Even tho I haven't made my decision yet, the time will come when it has to be done.