Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The Big Leap

I finally stood up to the big ass hole of a boyfriend that I had because I came to the realization that he was doing nothing but weighing me down and keeping me from getting now where in life. I had a fun relaxed time tonight at my parents place and I realized for the first time that it was the right decision to take the leap and get out of a dead-end relationship. Yes I did think about him a lot tonight and if he missed me or not, but then I came to another realization that this will happen but I need to push those thoughts out of my head because the relationship wasn’t healthy for me or him because it had gotten to the point that we hardly talked, didn’t sleep in the same bed unless there was no other way for us to sleep apart. But as I sat outside tonight by my self watching the Fog thickening  on my parents property I caught a glimpse of a horse and I absolutely loved the sight of a silhouetted horse on the Fog. It had a creepy majestic feel to it, as the Coyotes are howling and cackling at the game reserve across the road. It was a good feeling knowing that I will be able to wake up every morning and see all the pretty ponies and be greeted by the dogs and Sage.

I know this sounds off but I have made my room a windmill that you are able to live in because is has air, a ceiling fan and a window that I will be able to open hopefully if we can find the screen for it some where when the weather gets nice out. The only problem is that I will have to co habitat with spiders for a little while but I think some deep woods off will over it pretty good and keep them out of here till my step-dad can put some weather stripping around the door where there are cracks and gaps. I will post pictures of my windmill on here as soon I get a working Camera.

But all in all I am happier and already can feel the stress lifting off my shoulders :) :) :) :) :)

It was a wonderful feeling waking up and knowing that my day wasnt going to be horrible and just a plain old bore because of the lack of communication between me and that douche bag that I called my boyfriend. All in all today has been a wonderful day and I am proud to say I AM FREE!!!

Thursday, August 30, 2012


So I thought that I needed to share this with the rest of the well lets say the 90's kids and older blogging community. Someone posted a screen shot of a Jimmy Hendrix video on Facebook today with a highlighted comment from an obviously younger person. He stated that skrillex, lmao, and the jonas brothers play better music then Hendrix because of our current technology. I go enjoy LMAO but thats because there songs are catchy and there music videos are a whole different subject. But any way. He stated that Hendrix and the older bands are boring because you hear the same "guitar" or notes heard over and over again, That technology made music better and better because we dont hear the repetitiveness of the same note or the same cords over and over again. I honestly don't care about what beat there is to a song, for me its all in the lyrics and how the song touches you or even relates to a part of your life. This kid picked the worst guy to compare because Jimmy Hendrix is a legend and I don't care how far along technology get I will always love his music and how it is moving and touching and actually makes sense.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012


Money is the devil's play toy plain and simple. It just ruined a 6 month relationship. Heck it ruins marriages and a bunch of other things too. Money controls thing world and its loosing actual face value everyday because of the high demand for money. When it comes down too it, yes your bills should be paid in full and on time, but in some situations that is not likely to happen. Take for instant my situation, I have an awesome job opportunity just waiting there for the taking, but my so call boyfriend says that my phone(which is required for my job in the civilian world and military world) is less important then a job where I could have rent and the internet bill paid months in advance and all we would have to worry about is buying the things we need and being able to splurge every once in a while. But he decided that I need to leave and take my self else where... something here just doens't make sense. Like my mom always say's "We should go back to the bartering day when there wasn't money or currency, It would make people cherish what they have and work hard for what they need".

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Thoughts and Prayers

Liberty Pearl Hoksbergen
Liberty on her way to
St. Mary's
Thoughts and Prayers go out to Katy Wise, Alex Hoksbergen and their beautiful daughter Liberty. Liberty was brought into this world on August 21st, 2012, 15 weeks early and only weighs 1lb 6.9oz. They both were airlifted to St. Mary's hospital in Rochester, MN early this morning not to long after Liberty's birth. So far they are both stable and doing well. Katy and Alex are both in the armed forces so I know that they have the strength and courage but a little extra from people wouldn't be such a bad thing. So everyone please keep this wonderful family in your prayers.

Update's will be posted when I find out more.

Update 8/23/2012
Liberty's diapers. They have
be folded in half to fit her tiny
little baby bottom.
Liberty 2 days old
 Liberty is getting stronger everyday. They have her under the UV light. Here she is holding Katy's engagement ring. Even with all the hoses and tubes she is one precious little girl. The 1133rd family is glad to have her with us. You can also keep updated yourself by making a caringbridge account and follow Liberty's progress here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/libertypearl/mystory.

Alex and Katy getting to touch
there daughter for the first time
Katy's first time seeing Liberty since
she was born.
Katy was able to see her daughter for the first time today. What an amazing feeling it must be for Katy to be able to get up and see her daughter.

Update 8/24/2012
Liberty looses her breathing tube today at noon!!! hooray!She will still need to be given oxygen through her nose, but all in all she is a strong little girl! and a huge fighter. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers and she grows healthier and stronger.

Update 8/27/2012
No new pictures as of yet. on the 23rd the nurses at the Hospital said that Liberty is very stable and doing fabulous for her age and size. Also they started to put some of Katy's milk on the insides of her cheeks and is taking well to that. On the 24th she went for a brain ultrasound to check for brain bleeds and found nothing so that is a really good sign.  Also on the 24th after the brain scan came back normal they noticed some bleeding near Liberty's lungs but caught it in time for them to administer medication to stop the bleeding. Today they up the main medication that they have Liberty on and reduced her oxygen from the tube that they had to re-administer down to 39%. also she is getting less restless and is starting to sleep on her belly. On Sunday Katy and Alex where able to move to the Ronald McDonald house near the hospital instead of having to stay in a hotel all the way across town. If you wish to send greeting or prayers to them here is the information. Katy Wise and/or Alex Hoksbergen - Room 314, 850 2nd St. SW, Rochester, MN  55902-2938.

Update 8/28/2012
Katy and Alex got to hold there daughter today! To bad that since they have to do the skin on skin thing since Liberty is a premature. Liberty had to have another brain ultrasound today that showed there is some minor bleeding on the brain, but the doctors assured Katy and Alex it is normal and will give little miss Liberty another scan in two weeks so see if the bleeding has stopped. She also still has some bleeding by her lungs but is making great progress otherwise besides these too set backs. please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Update 8/30/2012
Liberty got taken off the Ventilator yesterday and they are hoping she will be able to stay off of it now, she is now on a CPAP machine. She grows stronger with each passing day. She also make a huge mile stone in the Preme world by making to a week old on Tuesday the 28th. I forgot to mention it earlier.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Frustrations II

Two of the things I though never would have happen, happened this over the weekend. On Saturday something happened to my ankle to that made my injury flare up, so I am back in my walking boot. Then on Sunday when I showed up to Drill with the walking boot on some people asked if I was okay while others stared, whispered comments, and snickered at me. These people are suppose to protect me in theater? These people are suppose to have my back? How can I trust these people when they can't even be concerned for me? Its not like I asked for this to happen and its not like I wanted this to happen. So quit acting like it is. Grow the F**k up and get a life. I am tried of feeling like an out cast with this unit, and you people making me want to give up and say F**k it.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012


Things are starting to look up for me. I got a call on a job today, I will be working for Flagger Pros USA getting to travel around Iowa. All that I have to do is pass the drug screen and sit through a class for the DOT. Totally made my day, along with me parents helping me out along the way!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012


I have set to goals for my self by the time the clock strikes 12:01 on January 1st, 2013. Yes I am not s skeptic about December 12th, 2012. The world will not end, and we will keep on living. But back to my goals.

1. I want to be 100% smoke free, I hate the habit of smoking cigarettes and no to mention the dent it puts in the pocket book.
2. I want to be able to run a marathon. This is an item on my bucket list, and I would love to be able to run a marathon or two before I die.

These are two very big goals for me because I have been smoking as long as I can remember, quit once and that was because I had no other choice too. And the last time I ran close to a marathon distance was at the end of Basic Training when we did a company run that totaled almost 4 miles.\

Challenge Accepted!